Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Good Examples Continued: Conclusion Section

From time to time, we've been featuring "good examples" of persuasive, argumentative, or different types of writing, by staff, tutors, and students. This most recent example is from Amanda, one of the CAE's student support workers. The concluding paragraph is clearly written with brief, succinct sentences that summarize the arguments made at greater length in the body of the essay, following naturally one from another:

New York made a crucial decision to no longer allow Occupy Wall Street protesters to live in Zuccotti Park. Mayor Michael Bloomberg was judicious in his efforts to force protesters from residing in the park because he had to ensure the welfare of all citizens of New York. The group has caused more harm than good for the entire area. If he had allowed the protesters to remain in the park, who knows how long they would have stayed and how many more millions of dollars would be needed for police response. Everyone is entitled to visit a park and no one could enter Zuccotti with the mass crowd of demonstrators. The citizens of New York are safer now that the government has intervened and eliminated the “Occupy” from Occupy Wall Street. The Occupy movement has no clear goals and it is more confusing than beneficial to the audience that it is trying to relate to. If Occupy Wall Street were to be a successful movement, no arrests would be necessitated because peace should be the priority when trying to make radical changes.

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